SUPER BOWL

Chin up old bean. Picking up
varied blitz packages involving
linemen and defensive backs
is very difficult.


When I was growing up, I remember a distinct period in my life when I had to make a choice. It is not well known, but I am an incredible athlete and my passion was American football. I played the same position as the absolutely adorable Tom Brady but had a terrible knitting accident that derailed my aspirations. It was Christmas season and I decided to knit some Christmas sweaters for some of my mates. Unfortunately, I tried doing so under the influence of alcohol and a cocktail of party drugs. An errant knit punctured my throwing hand and ended my dream of playing professionally. That was when I made the choice to leave athletics forever and join the as-exciting world of knitting. Watching the Super Bowl yesterday and seeing the Football Giants of New York defeat the Patriots of New England flooded me with memories of my glory days.

Evian Baths, Oh How I Miss Thee

THE ONLY WAY TO BATHE DARLINGS

Sorry, I didn't get to blog yesterday. We were having problems with the plumbing in my house and I had to deal with these unsavory blokes all morning. You see, our tub usually only runs EVIAN water for our baths at the Conway residence but it seems I accidentally dropped a bag of conflict diamonds down the pipe and our platinum plumbing began to leak. Father was so distraught about the situation that he rented the presidential suite at the Hyatt Regency (obviously 5 Stars darling) just so "he can take a decent shower like any normal tax stealing...err...I mean tax paying citizen." I think I'm going to head there now too for a bathe, I'm getting severe rashes from my Egyptian cotton knickers. Until next time too-ta-loo and remember, if you ain't rich you ain't shit.